What do you want?

Can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state, you don’t need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?” Dr. Joe Dispenza, breaking the habit of being yourself.

Fortunately I never fell into the self help trap of- ‘5 steps to a new you’ or something of the like. I’ve always innately understood that to get to the good stuff, it will likely take some work. But the question always was, where is the map?

When in the midst of trials, it isn’t always the easiest thing to ask God/Goddess or the universe because you aren’t thinking of perceiving correctly. So anything that comes through to you appears garbled, in riddles or blurry at best.

Sometimes the best thing to ask yourself is, what do I want? What will bring me the most joy? What makes my life complete? Envisioning yourself being well, filled with joy and happy. And if we are really perceptive, we will soon realize that there is no outside source that has the magic ticket but it is all found within. The greatest hurdle… getting the mind right.

We are all so accustomed to thinking about what troubles us but what about thinking about what we actually want? What if we were to focus solely on what we want and liberate our minds from the chains of our worries and concerns?

I had been told for years that meditating was not good because I was emptying my mind, rather than filling it with God’s word. But the trouble for me was the bible was still a place to attain to- the concepts and ways of living that were listed in it were to be achieved. Sure the holy spirit would help you get there, I understood that. But I always felt there was something more to it. I found that with disciplined bible reading, it wasn’t fixing the damage, it was merely paving over it. I didn’t feel like I was becoming a new person, I felt like I was putting on a new person but one that looked like me. If that makes any sense at all…

So over the last several months since we have been out in California and I am away from the projections of others, their perceptions of who I am, I have been able to discover who I really am. She does not identify with religion. She doesn’t hold a book above any other books. She prefers nature over a building called church. She would rather love people, just to love them without an agenda. Not to love them to save them from themselves. Because honestly, I believe this is how God loves people, Jesus sure did.

I had to ask myself what I wanted. A good hard questioning of myself. The answers weren’t the kind of answers I may have had 10 years ago, or even 6 months ago. I want peace. I want wholeness. I want to know the truth, the real truth. I want to walk away from anything that feels like its choking the life out of me. Or anything that looks like a “to do” list. I want to break free of the man made contructs of time and space.

We are here to build a new world because the old systems are failing and many have already failed but a small group of people keep gluing and taping it back together from behind the curtain and telling us to not pay attention to what is going in behind the curtain. The curtain needs to come down! The veil, if you will…

Life isn’t what we think it is. Many of the things we spend time chasing after and promoting are simply in place to keep us busy and often times complacent. We have been sold on ideas and ideologies. Do you really want a huge house and a ton of money in the bank? Will that make you feel whole? You know what many before us have said about what it is like at the top? 1, there is nothing at the top and 2, it is lonely up there.

Money won’t fill you; religion won’t fill you, a partner won’t do it either. Get your head in the game and seek an elevated way of living. Real living. If you can clear away all the clutter and chatter, you will see and hear the truth. It knows you are looking for it, it will come to you. Wholeness is found in and of self. You are indeed a terrifying person when you need nothing outside of yourself to find satisfaction and that is the way it ought to be.

I hope this helps and encourages someone today. This message revealed to me was of great comfort. It freed me from outside influences or circumstances within my environment. It gave me the courage to be stronger and to know I wasn’t burying my feelings or thoughts but that this is just who I am. I am independent of those around me, in the sense that I could remain uneffected and at the same time, we are all connected. It doesn’t have to alter my thoughts and actions. For any of you that have been following me here or my other blog for years prior, you have a vague idea of my daily challenges, so my sentiments in this last paragraph may make better sense to you.

This finding freedom blog was started as a consorted effort of sharing ideas and movements toward finding freedom and freedom of the mind is a massive player. Once you reach that place, what do you have left to fear?

Who do they see when they see you?

“Let them see you, In me
Let them hear you, When I speak
Let them feel you, When I sing
Let them see you
Let them see you in me” Song; Let them see you, JJ Weeks band.

When the road is hard and long and you have been waiting forever for your breakthrough, what comes out of you? When you are among other people, are you kind and patient and loving? When a friend is down on their luck, do you encourage them and give them a hand up? 

“If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 5:46-48

If you allow this scripture to sink in, it will guide you in the art of loving like Christ. What risk is there, being loving toward strangers? If we know who we are in Christ and know that our Papa loves us, there is no sense of rejection. If we can’t even manage to welcome people from outside our church into the 4 walls we call church, how are we any different than the rest of the world? People go to church every week looking for the answer to the age old question; why am I alive? The physical building of the church can lead someone to that answer. But they have to feel welcome there. Church isn’t a country club for the elite saved folks, it’s a hospital for the once sick, in process of recovery! We are all in process. Never think so highly of yourself, that you have arrived, you are changing and evolving and growing just like the rest of us. I certainly don’t want to go somewhere, where I feel like I have to try and fit in. I already should fit in because we are brothers and sisters in Christ and that is enough. If you think there is more than that to qualify, then that thought pattern needs to be thrown out.

You have what it takes to be like Jesus, more than you may comprehend. You already are like Jesus, He lives within you, His spirit moves and breathes within you. Allow His warmth to wrap around others and love on them. Allow His peace to permeate wherever you are. Let His words leave your lips and fall upon the ears of those around you. The people around you are dying to see Him, you may be the only Bible someone reads. It is more in how you conduct yourself, than it is in what you say. The Pharisees were the holiest of holy but Jesus had bones to pick with them at every turn. They talked an awful lot and kept themselves quite cleaned up but the conditions on their hearts and their motives stunk. We don’t want to be found to be anything like them.

Throw love and kindness around like glitter! You’ll never run out and it doesn’t matter if you ever receive it back because Papa sees what you do and He will surely reward you well.

I hope this encouraged someone today. I know it’s a hard line but it hurts to hear about people trying out church and leaving saying they will never return. For someone who doesn’t know Papa yet, that’s a difficult situation. They went looking for something and allowed themselves to be vulnerable enough to go and somewhere along the line, they were let down. Heck, I’ve recently had some less than stellar church experiences but I know who Papa is, so I’m not discouraged. I’m sad about it, sure and it needs to change but we will continue our search for our new church home. It just won’t be the places we have already gone. I don’t want a red carpet but I do hope to see love for Jesus and love for your fellow believer. You can’t really have one without the other. Jesus did tell us, to love one another as I have loved you. If we miss that target, we’ve missed everything. God bless you all.